~ Rant sent by Jill ~
The most difficult thing about being a caregiver is the emotional and mental toll that it takes to be constantly trying to meet the needs of another person. And my client is brain injured, he has specialized needs so I can’t care for him like my other clients. He requires a specialized way of approaching him.
My current client suffers from brain injury. He had gone through numerous failed placements when I first met him. He was unable to find a good match for his caregiving, he has very complex needs and he was having some very significant medical concerns that were new to him and I started working with him.
We found some common ground right away, I was working with him to figure out what exactly it was that he needed. He’d been having a lot of anger issues and some outbursts that were quite significant and severe and we worked through those… and now, 6 years later he has not had any outbursts. He’s in a much better place, he’s completely stable and just being able to work with him one on one and really get to know him and figure out his needs, actually has helped him to live a much better life than where he was previously.
The first long term client that I had was a gentleman who was quadriplegic. He was living a very independent life when I met him. He was much more independent than what most people think is possible for someone that is quadriplegic. He lived independently, he managed all of his affairs, he had somebody come in 3 times a day to do the things he could not do for himself but other than that he had everything set up so that he could manage on his own.
This went on for several years and I was always impressed by his independence and his drive to live a fulfilled life despite his disability. Unfortunately over time, he had an injury and he started using opiods for pain control, it progressed to the point where he was addicted to painkillers and he was using some very strong painkillers to the point where he was losing his independence.
I actually stopped working for him because I could no longer be responsible for his medication management when he was taking medication from other people. So I had to quit working for him, unfortunately just a very short time after that he passed away from complications from the addiction. It was heartbreaking to see the decline. But it also made me note how important it is to have really good supportive people in your life to help you through those kinds of things.
Unfortunately his family members didn’t live close. By the time they actually realized what was going on he was deep into addiction and it was very sad. He ended up pushing away everybody that was important to him. It just shows how important it is to have people there who are truly caring about you and going to do the work because if he had had somebody there that was a dedicated caregiver he’d probably be with us today.
-Jill, Caregiver for 20+ years